I would have updated this earlier if I didn't think of myself as a failure this past year.
I took my GRE that time and applied to the doctorate program. I didn't get a "no," but I didn't get a "yes" either.
What came with that year was a multitude of feelings, but mostly those of anger, frustration, and doubt. For a brief moment in my life, I felt confident. Confident that I was going to get in. That's what all the voices surrounding me told me to the point where I believed it--and I was proven wrong. I was not ready.
I took the year to self-reflect about why I wanted to pursue a PhD. I took the feedback that was given and have worked tirelessly to really focus. I read and read and wrote and wrote and have spent hours thinking about all of this information I was putting into my head.
This week, I received notice that I was accepted into the doctorate program. In a handful of years, I will be Giovanna M. Tello, PhD.
It is not those letters after my name that will make the difference, but what will as a result of the education behind what I learn and produce. While I still struggle with my confidence at times, this process has only proven to me that this is something I have worked hard for and earned. Yet, this is only the first step. The journey will be a challenging one, but it will be worth it.
I can't help but to think of my parents in these moments.
As I sit in the library where I practically grew up, I remember the hours I would spend here: reading books, doing activities, and learning how to use the computer. It is because of moments like these that have instilled in me the value of learning and the value of education.
Years later, I continue to hold education close to my heart and have seen what an education has done for me and for my family. It is my responsibility to pay it forward.
Even though I felt like a failure a year ago, it is one year later and I am moving forward.
