My biggest struggle this semester was having too much on my plate. I went to school full-time and worked as a Peer Advisor and Commuter Student Assistant on campus. A month into the semester, I took on the role of Peer Leader Coordinator in addition to everything I was already doing. I thought I was going to be fine until I got a D on my English paper and reality had set in. I had spent most of my time at my jobs and--even when I wasn't at work--it would always be on my mind.
I think it was clear to the advisors and my co-workers that there was a part of me that was losing it. I was just so exhausted all the time. I had so many things to think about that my brain couldn't focus on one thing.
During my 1:1 with my mentor, Yosayra, we started talking about competencies and things I could improve on and one of the things I mentioned was role overload. Let's face it; I had taken on too many roles that they started overflow my brain and caused me to have stress. She made me realize how I had put my jobs in front of my classes and I had to not only re-prioritize, but refocus. I talked to Lindsay about this too and she was talking to me about putting 110% towards everything and I thought I was until she mentioned that I might be 110% into my jobs, but I might not be putting 110% into my school work or sleeping. And she was right. I kinda moved my classes to be secondary and my work to be primary, so I had to re-prioritize myself. School is what's important.
At the end of the semester, I left my job as a Commuter Student Assistant and remained a PA and the PLC. It was kind of difficult. I had to deal with the idea of not being able to do something--feeling like I had a limit to my abilities--when I had previously thought I was limitless.
The majority of my friends at school are student leaders like me and it seems we all sometimes struggle with juggling our roles, but we somehow manage. Giving up one of my roles was difficult because I felt I wasn't as good as my peers. I felt like I couldn't handle as much as they could.
One of my friends helped me think it through and I think sometimes I worry too much about what other people are doing and don't focus enough on what I'm doing. She was really good in helping me realize I'm doing just as much as everyone and to just worry about myself. It's true. Everyone has different responsibilities, different strengths and weaknesses, and different ways of handling things, so I really shouldn't compare myself to others because everyone's different in different ways.
I still found myself thinking about my jobs at random times, but Yosayra has been helping me a lot with not stressing out so much. I think the main thing I have to do is just focus on what I have to do during the time I'm doing it and not let it spill over to time when I'm suppose to be focusing on my classes. I've been working on it, especially towards the end of the semester and it's actually been helping me be less stressed out, so that's good. It's just something I have to continuously work on.
So, my main message is that I think this connects with growing as a professional. It's good that I'm learning all this now because I wouldn't want to just start learning how to manage everything when I'm a professional. One of the things that they mentioned at the NASPA conference and something that Yosayra tells me is how there has to be a balance of things and it's something I always try to keep in mind. Also, Lindsay told me that I have to learn how to say "no" and she's right. I always end up saying "yes" to helping people and adding on to the responsibilities I already have and, sometimes, I just can't do everything.
This was my "lesson of the week" a little while ago:
Sometimes, we have to realize we can't always be ninjas or rockstars, for we are only human. We have times when we struggle and we have times when we shine, but it never hurts to stay positive and have an open mind.
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