Cupcake Time.

I've been a been a bit grumbly the past week (fine, two weeks or so) at work and I wasn't really sure why. I found myself starting to be slightly anti-social, and irritated when people started talking to me because I kept losing my focus on the projects I was working on. In addition to being PLC, I was given other duties as a Peer Advisor and I guess it just became too much for me. To be fully honest, I knew I wasn't giving 100% to both of my jobs. I found myself scrambling for icebreakers and activities just a few hours before training and it was hurting me that I wasn't wholeheartedly dedicated to something I promised myself to be. It drove me insane. I was caught up in the world of Field Guides and it was literally never ending until this past week.

I started working on the Field Guide last year when I was a student assistant last year and I didn't mind it too much. It took a while, but it was just editing and updating information about the campus. This year, I played more of a role in designing and structure of the Field Guide and, oh, there were three of them. Yeah, I said it--three. One for first-year students, transfer students, and families. I realized just now how crazy that is. No wonder I was anti-social! hahahaha Well, I guess with all of that on my mind and everything else I find myself doing, I found myself overwhelmed.

It's a lot to handle now that I think of it and it's times like these when I really have to learn to say no. I told Yosayra how I was feeling earlier this week and she helped my by talking to Lindsay. I just chuckled because I went into Lindsay's office the day after and one of the first things she told me was, "Jossie told me to lay off." hahahahahaha

I'm really happy Yosayra and Lindsay mentor me. They're really understanding and that's what I like most about them. They've helped me out a lot, especially this year with helping me figure out my, well, whole life. hahahaha. It's so weird. SO weird to think that in just a year, I'll be graduating. I guess it'll be weird because I'm so comfortable and I'll soon be making all these decisions by myself and they won't be a few feet away from me to ask them for advice. Well, maybe they will be, but I gotta get my master's first! hahahaha. I crack myself up.

Sometimes, I randomly remember that conversation I had with Yosayra a few weeks ago. She told me how she's trying to make me self-reliant and self-sufficient because she's not always gonna be right there to help me and I have to learn to trust myself. It's true. I always find myself second-thinking myself and asking others for opinions just to make sure what I'm doing is right. I guess sometimes...I have to take risks and just kinda figure things out on my own. I've come a long way and I've grown a lot and, to be honest, I'm not sure why I don't trust myself sometimes. I guess it's just something I have to learn. It'll come through.

Anyways, bringing it back to this week, Yosayra and Lindsay let me focus on my bigger projects and the field guides are done! Lindsay bought me cupcakes and they seemed to be a cure! hahaha I feel a lot better. My last day of PA for the year is Tuesday and then I have a week off to focus on my finals. So far, it's a good ending to the semester. I don't feel as crazy right now and it's all thanks to my awesome mentors and some awesome cupcakes.

Quotes, Quotes, Quotes

I almost forgot! Here are the quotes I picked up at the conference!


We cannot predict the future, but we can create it

Don't let your gifts and talents take you to a place where your character can't keep you

There are no hand outs in life, only fleeting opportunities

You should always have a reason to say why you love your job

The key to success: do everything with excellence. Period.

Let the work I've done speak for me

Balance is elusive. Lead lives of satisfying proportion

SA is not just listening with you mind and your ears, but also with your eyes and your heart

Live out loud

Humility is a strength when it's backed with credibility and integrity

Strive for consistency in what you do and say

Everything that you do, do it with integrity

Focus on your potential to make a difference

It's a little random to list these quotes, but it reminds me of the speakers I heard and how they said these things to us with such power and passion...

"When You First Started..."

I've had a little bit of time to think today since I've spent a great deal of time in bed started getting the sniffles on Wednesday. I just realized how terrible it is that I had to get sick to finally have time to think to myself hahaha. Well, there's about a month left of the semester, so everything is starting to wind down and everything's starting to get a little crazy.

Anyways, an e-mail came out today for the Dean of Students Awards and I'm going to apply. I started thinking about my Junior year and all the ways I've learned and grown from the experiences I've had this year. Although it's gone by pretty quickly (too quickly, in fact), a lot has changed.

Currently being sick immediately reminded me of last semester when I was already sick by the second week of the semester. I had taken on way too much, too fast and exhausted myself literally within days. This semester, I've held up for about three months (Personal Best). I guess I am at that point again. Way too many things are on my mind: my internship, my papers, course selection, exams, my jobs, and there's probably some stuff I forgot! One of the good things is that I think I've gotten a little bit better at this whole balancing work thing. Okay, okay, okay, I know you just scoffed at my last sentence, but I've gotten better, I have!

I've also learned a lot about working in a team at work. To be honest, I always took the term teamwork pretty lightly, even when I was a PL. Being a PA was different in that we actually had to create and develop new things and work on projects and we weren't always together to work on it. It's been a challenge, but I've learned a lot and that's what matters. I'll be bringing what I've learned into PL this year in our teamwork, so I'm excited!

Being PLC is more challenging than I thought it would be, so I know I'm in for a really good learning experience. It's really hard to lead a team, but I know Yosayra chose me because I can do it. I kind of have some experience since I've been a PL for the past two years, so I kind of know what to expect, but at the same time, I can't expect the same thing. It's weird. We're all working on developing our team, but we're going to be a good team. It's only been a few weeks and everyone's really open to learning about everyone and I think that's what's going to make us understand each other more and develop ourselves as a team. I'm excited. =]

Reflecting on my experiences as a Junior, I kind of started to think about my experience at MSU as a whole. Lindsay said something to me today that made me laugh because of how true it is: "When you first started, we couldn't get you to talk. Now, we can't get you to shut up." Hahahahaha It made me realize how much I've grown since I've been at MSU. I'm so glad I've had so many opportunities and awesome people throughout my time at MSU. It's made me into someone I've always strived to be.

Tough Love

I guess I should start out with this post that I sent Yosayra a few weeks ago: http://blogs.hbr.org/glickman/2012/03/get-ahead-with-a-mentor-who-sc.html

It's basically about how it's good to have a mentor who scares and challenges you. Yep, that's my mentor. hahahaha

For the capstone course in my minor, I have to take an internship. Luckily, I get to do my internship directed towards something I want to do career-wise. I had my meeting today and I got to learn about all the possible opportunities I have for the Fall semester.

Well, I pretty much got to a point when I was frustrated today because I felt Yosayra wasn't helping me. I get nervous about big decisions like these because I don't want to do the "wrong" thing. I know there's technically no wrong thing because everything's an experience, but still. It's not the first time Yosayra's left me on my own to make decisions and it's most likely not going to be the last hahaha

I guess it kind of brings it back to that article I posted above. You need people to challenge and critique you if you really want to push yourself to grow. Now that I think of it, this whole experience has really redefined the definition of a mentor to me. One of the things Yosayra said to me earlier on this year is that one day, I'm going to be someone's mentor too. Even in Peer Leadership, I know I'm a mentor to the team. I guess my role isn't just to guide and support them, but also challenge them to help them reach their potential.

This actually brings me back to some reflection we did at the conference in Phoenix. We had to write something we wanted to change about ourselves. My improvement was that I wanted to be more confident in my abilities and I kind of think that's where my mentor's trying to get me at too. I know I can do this...I know I can make these decisions. It's just kind of weird, you know? I can't believe how quickly everything's happening.

I guess it's all for the best. A year from now, I'll be making my decision of where I'll be going to grad school... I sometimes grumble coming out of Yosayra's office, but I know that a year from now, I'll be like those American Idol singers who'll be eternally grateful for their mentor.