"So I Brought You an Ice Cream Sandwich..."

Well, I really don't know where to begin. There were so many things going through my head last week. All I can say is that being a PL never fails to challenge me...
I guess I'll start with Lindsay. We got to have a talk session last week which was really cool and something I now realize I needed. This job can get overwhelming sometimes. It feels like people always come to me--and I love it, but at the same time, it's a lot. I have all these concerns swirling in my head all the time and they're just not going away. I keep thinking about this job. I was getting better at separating my life and work, but sometimes, I feel like I'm going backwards.
It's really hard though, especially during PL. It's like the work never stops. I don't just work with these people, I live with them too and people will bring up random concerns or questions to me at random times, so it's hard to have that balance. What I'm conflicted with is trying to help people, but helping myself too. I love that people can come to me and talk to me and they look up to me and stuff, but I'm not a superhero. I don't want people to stop coming to me, but at the same time, I want to just have time to focus on myself too...
Ever since my talk with Lindsay, I've been feeling a little better. I try to keep some things she told me in mind like set your boundaries, or that maybe people just want you to listen to them... To take care of myself because no one else will if I don't.
I think things are getting better as a whole about this whole experience though... One of the PLs came up to me the other night and thanked me for everything and gave me an ice cream sandwich, which was so cute that I started to cry. lol I love my roommates a lot and I continue to have bonding sessions with people and it's not even so much as me in my Plc role, but me in a friend role, which is kind of nice. We have a really good team, we really do.
It's rough sometimes, but I'm really glad I have people who helped along the way. Our grad intern, Liz, is amazing. She's so easy to talk to and she kind of just gets me. The more I get to know about her, the more in common we seem to have, which is really cool. I look up to her a lot, especially since she's still in grad school and studying student affairs. I can kind of see myself like her in two years, which probably sounds really weird, but yeah hahaha
I really have no idea what I would do without Yosayra and Lindsay. Their support and belief in me is what keeps me going. I'm glad I have a strong relationship with them because, sometimes, I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to and they're always there to help me out. Sure, sometimes they might spoil me, but I really, really appreciate everything they do for me. They are the best mentors in the whole, wide world. =]

Summer Has Just Begun

It's been a while! Everything's been so hectic since the start of PL in the beginning of the month...actually last month. (I just realized it's July--seriously?) Well, I haven't really been able to catch my breath and I decided this weekend was going to be a good weekend to come home, relax, and just take a step away from everything for a little bit.

I haven't really gotten a chance to stop and self-reflect about everything I'm experiencing this summer, so I figure a good blog post would be a good starter. Well, I can honestly say there is never a dull moment in being a peer leader. This year's team is amazing. There are no words to describe it, but everyone is really open and understanding to each other and I'm not gonna lie--the whole team surprised me because I never expected that!

This year is different in that being PLC is really teaching me a lot. It's weird though. I think I expected something a little different. I feel like the past two years, I felt like I was pushed out of my comfort level and--through that--discovered a new level of potential that I have. I kind of expected the same thing for this year, but it doesn't really feel that way.

During everything so far, there have been moments when I was initially nervous about something, but I knew deep down inside that I could do it. During the retreat, there was a little piece of me that didn't think I could go through the high-ropes course and zip-line down and I'm sure I was pretty certain for a few weeks that I was going to throw up in the transitions skit because I was so nervous. But, I did both and I'm really proud of myself, but for some reason, I didn't feel as I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I didn't really doubt myself, I was just nervous. I'm not really sure what it means. Hm.

I'm definitely still challenged, no doubt about that. It's really hard to be a team leader--really hard. I sometimes wonder what thoughts went through the minds of the two PLCs before me during their summers. I love this team so much and I'm giving my all into making us a really strong team, but it's hard sometimes. I guess I try to make things perfect, even though they can't be. I just want everyone to have a positive experience, that's all.

With that said, I think I'll head to bed. There's more to think about, but my mind is cleared for now. Good night, world!